When Trevett was diagnosed, a tsunami of strife slammed into our home. If felt as if I were in one of those baby floaties advertised on social media where all that is above water is the baby's head. The obvious difference: there was no splashing and giggling, instead it was as if the floaty was strangling me while simultaneously keeping me afloat.
I once saw a movie where a woman was jilted and said something to the effect of the hardest part was that the hurt didn't actually kill you; it was so painful that you felt it could actually kill you, but it wouldn't, you were forced to keep living with it. Have you been there?
I wanted to reach across the room and put my hand over the doctor's mouth to make the words just stop, STOP, cover my ears and scream. Instead, I just sat there and asked, "can you please repeat everything that you just said?" He very kindly said, "yes, as many times as you need."
That day we left with a plan, and an unexplainable pain.
A few things to note:
I am not an expert in any capacity. I am not a medical expert, I am not a parent expert, I am not a faith expert, I am not a marriage expert. BUT, I am writing this from the other side. I am no longer drowning, I'm sitting on the beach watching the storm drift away, and playing in the sand with my family in the warm sun.
While our roads look different, I am walking the same journey to Heaven as you. I am learning every single day how to do more than survive this life with the tools I have been given, and learning to be resourceful with what I am lacking.
While I feel truly inadequate in almost all of my life's callings, here is the truth of what I've learned; what has kept and continues to keep me afloat during life's storms:
Hardships are inevitable and declared as such in scripture. "In this world you will have trouble…" (James Ch.2)
Even when He feels still and silent, God is present and at work.
When I am weak, He is strong, He never tires, and His goal is ALWAYS to bring me closer to Him.
I am exactly where I am meant to be, and I am equipped with every thing He intends me to have.
Jesus is a promise keeper, and He said, "I am with you ALWAYS, to the very end of the age." (Matthew Ch. 28)
Charles Swindoll, said it best, in the very last paragraph of his book "Esther: A Woman of Strength and Dignity".
"His hand moves invisibly, yet with invincibility, bringing His sovereign plan to completion. It includes haunting delays that seem unfair, human decisions that lack compassion, harmful deeds that bring other anguish, and hurtful disappointments that make us question God's goodness. Nevertheless, He pursues with persistence and He refuses to be distracted. In the end, I repeat, God wins. What great comfort that brings!"
Our family now celebrates the victory our son has over cancer, while knowing we still live in a world where hardships are inevitable. There are storms on the horizon.
My prayer is that today - you find great comfort within whatever circumstances you are facing. Know that you are completely and endlessly loved and pursued, by the One who Walks on Water and reaches out His loving hand to keep you afloat!
He is ONLY GOOD and He ALWAYS WINS!
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